


Finding Home Again

by danvers_grant (diancsthemyscira), villainousunsub



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, SuperCat March Madness, angst week
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-29 19:11:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6389635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diancsthemyscira/pseuds/danvers_grant, https://archiveofourown.org/users/villainousunsub/pseuds/villainousunsub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a harsh fight, the DEO finds Supergirl, only she doesn't remember the last year of her life. Now Cat and Alex have to pretend as though nothing happened, Cat has a particularly hard time, considering in that missing year her and Kara got married. (sorry about the formatting issue earlier its all fixed now tho)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Cat watched in horror as National City was split in two. She had sent everyone home after the first quake, she was just about to leave when the real one hit. Cat had ran to her balcony just in time to see the first building fall; things passed in slow motion after that. Her world, her empire, crashed around her but it didn’t matter, she still had her family.. At least she was hoping she still had them.

She paced anxiously around her office waiting for someone to bring the news she desperately need to hear. She needed to know Kara and Carter were both okay. Cat knew it took a lot to hurt her wife, but then again the DEO did send her after the alien that collapsed half of a major city. Carter should have been fine, his school wasn’t located near the areas that had fallen, but the school had yet to get a hold of her. Night had begun to fall when she got the call, “Hello, Miss Grant? This is to inform you that your son is safe. We are sorry it took so long, but the government required everyone to go through a small harmless evaluation. Again, Carter is fine and we are very sorry for the delay.” Cat started to breath a little easier, but she still had one more person to stress about. She was afraid to leave her office, in case anyone tried to reach her, or Kara tried to fly by.

The usual stone cold and collected Cat Grant, was an emotional mess who had silent tears running down her cheeks for the unknown status of her lover. Once she had calmed slightly, she called the one person she could count on. Alex Danvers. The agent wasn’t too keen on her sister dating, then marrying, her boss, but she had started to warm up to Cat, even more so to Carter.

“Alex Danvers.”

“Alex, can you pick Carter up? He is still at his school.” Cat’s voice was small and timid, just like she was at that moment.

“Of course. He shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“I know, but I have no safe way to get him.”

“Don’t worry Tiny Cat, I think I can handle the kid for a few hours.” Alex tried joking, but it was no use, Cat was in a stupor.

“Thank you.” They were both silent for a few minutes, knowing that the other was going to ask about Kara.

“We haven’t found her. I’m sorry Cat.”

“I understand. For the record, I haven’t seen her either.”

“Well I better head to the school.”

“Yes, I suppose you should. Goodbye Agent Danvers.” Cat hung up before she sobbed into the phone.

Cat tossed her phone onto her desk, walked to the bar and grabbed the first bottle she saw. Drinking away the pain wasn’t the greatest idea she had, but it was the only plan she could think of. Cat thought of every possibility under the sun of where in the hell Kara could be. At first, the scenarios were light and happy, then she took a few swigs from the bottle and it all went downhill. With half the bottle gone, Cat was well aware she was drunk, also that she should stop. Then again, logic wasn’t her strong point when she was half out of it.

Alex found her curled up in a ball on her chair, the bottle resting between her legs. She guessed that the blonde hadn’t been asleep for very long, they talked not even six hours before and in those hours she drank every drop. Alex sighed and walked over to the woman, she wiggled the liquor bottle out of its confines, set it on the desk, then gently and slowly picked Cat up bridal style. The journalist may not have looked heavy, but her just being dead weight really took its toll on Alex’s arms.

When they finally made it out of CatCo, there was a car waiting to take them to the DEO. Alex placed Cat into the backseat, she was a little cattywampus, but she would more than likely sleep the whole way there. The brunette kept glancing back every time they hit a bump, she was determined to get Cat there in one piece. She was not going to be held responsible for any injury Kara might find on Cat when the woman woke up.

///

 

Cat rubbed her eyes slowly, her head was pounding and the light from the hallway was not helping. With the gunk cleared from her eyes, she took in the room around her. The walls surrounding her were made of glass, the only thing other than the bed in the room was one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs. Cat slid out of the bed and padded to the glass sliding door, she opened it and was met with cold air and a weird smell that she couldn’t place. The cool concrete stung her bare feet, but she still proceeded forward.

Eventually, Cat heard voices, lots of voices. She peaked her head around the corner to find groups of people, all dressed head to toe in black, hurrying back and forth between the screens. She slinked around the edge and observed the workers, no one seemed to notice her. The monitors showed deformed creatures and Supergirl was displayed in the middle. The superhero’s picture was flashing and was covered in red bolded letters. MISSING. Cat felt her heart drop and her breath catch, they still hadn’t found her.

“Cat! You’re awake!” Cat heard from somewhere in the distance. A few seconds later she saw Alex jog towards her.

“How are you feeling?”

“A little lightheaded and I have a major headache.” She reached a hand to her head and rubbed her temples, wanting some relief.

“I can get you something for that. Do you want me to take you home or maybe back to your office?” Alex started twisting and playing with her hands.

“Kara does that too.” She gestured to Alex’s fidgeting hands. Alex dropped her hands to her side.

“It’s a family trait I guess. Also, you never answered my question.”

“Here, so I know what is going on with Kara.”

“Cat, that wasn’t an option, your choices were your house or CatCo. My boss won’t let you stay here all day, especially if you are awake.”

“What about our beloved hero? You can’t expect me to leave here without her.” The blonde was almost in tears at the thought of leaving without Kara.

“I told you that I would keep you updated.” Alex started to drift towards the front monitor, glancing up to see if any new news had appeared. When there was no change, she tried to convince Cat to leave.

///

 

They had brought Supergirl (and the villain that had caused the destruction) just before dawn. The superhero was battered and torn, her suit was shredded, and the girl herself was unconscious. Alex demanded that she be there while they did any and all testing on the superhuman. They found nothing wrong with her. physically at least. They wouldn’t know what her mental state was until she woke up, but nobody knew when that would be.

It took a week for Kara to open her eyes, she was disoriented at first but soon the world around her came into focus. Alex was passed out in a chair besides her bed, half-eaten take out containers lying at the foot of her bed. Kara reached out to her sister with a heavy hand. Alex was startled awake when she felt something land on her leg, but quickly dropped her defensive mode when she realized who it was.

“You’re okay! I thought you would never wake up. You are not allowed to do that again, do you understand?” Alex deadpanned.

“At least we don’t have to worry about Non and his men anymore.” Kara joked, hoping to get a smile out of her sister, but got a blank expression instead.

“We did get him didn’t we?”

“Yeah, yeah we got’em Supergirl. Hey, can you excuse me for a minute? I got to let everyone know you are awake.” Alex stood from her chair and slowly backed out of the room.

She knew she should tell Kara’s doctor’s and Hank about the memory loss, and her waking up. Then again there were two other people that needed to know, and they were a lot more important than the DEO. Her thumb ghosted over Cat Grant’s name.

“Cat. She’s awake, but you can’t see her.”

“What do you mean I can’t see my wife!?”

“She has amnesia, the last thing she remembers is from a year ago.”

“Alex, I can’t lose her again. Carter can’t lose his mom.”

“Cat.” Alex could hear the muffled crying from the other end of the phone. “I think it’s best if we don’t tell her right away.”

“That’s agreeable. Let me know when she is ready to go to back to work, I need to prep the building for her return.” Cat’s voice turned cold and distant trying to prepare herself for the worst of what may come.

“Of course, and Carter?”

“I’ll tell him, you go see your sister. Goodbye Alex.”

“Goodbye Ca- Miss Grant.” Alex ended the call and went on with the standard procedure for Supergirl’s medical treatment.

///

No matter how much Alex wanted Kara to stay a few more days at the base, she knew Kara was anxious to get back to work. The blonde kept trying to leave her room, she wanted to save her city, she wanted to work or do something to keep her busy. After four days, Alex finally gave in and took her to the closest thing she had to home.

Kara had fallen asleep on the ride to Alex’s place, her medicine finally had set in and she was going to be out for the night. Alex picked her up the same way she had Cat a week ago, and carried her to the spare bedroom. The agent sat beside her bed and stroked her hair the same way she did when she was unconscious. Silent tears stained the brunette’s face and dripped onto the sheets next to Kara.

She knew how much the past year had meant to her sister and to lose it all would devastate her, yet here they were. Kara no longer had her family and she was still feeling the sorrow of her aunt’s supposed death. Alex knew she couldn’t reveal anything to the girl, but if Kara ever regained her memory and found out that she had been lied to, she would be furious. So, Alex vowed to try and do everything in her power to help Kara get her memories back as soon as possible.

“You should really sleep in an actual bed for once.” Kara, still not quite awake, remarked to her balled up sister.

“No, no, I’m fine, it’s fine,” Alex groggily mumbled.

“Well, you are definitely sleeping on one tonight, but right now, I have a job to get to.” Alex was about to tell her to wait another day, but the happiness on Kara’s face stopped her.

“Yeah kid, yea you do. Don’t work yourself too hard, you are still recovering!” Alex’s warning fell on deaf ears and the back of a rushing blonde. When she heard the door slam shut, Alex texted Cat to let her know Kara was on her way.

///

 

The soft ding alerted Cat to a new text, “Hope is on its way.” A small smile graced the blonde’s face at the thought of seeing Kara bouncing around the office again. Cat schooled her emotions and finished getting ready, she knew everything had to be like it was before, even if it killed her to know she couldn’t wear her ring.

Cat smoothed out her skirt for the tenth time that morning and headed for the door. “Carter, hurry up! You are going to be late!”

“Sorry. What about breakfast?”

“We can pick something up.”

“I miss Kara, she always made breakfast, and packed these little homemade comics in my lunch. She also made you laugh and smile, I miss all of it. When is she coming home?” Carter had both of them in tears at the end of his confession.

“Carter, sweetheart, I know this is hard for you; you lost a friend, a parent, and your superhero, but she will be back, we just have to give her some time. Besides, you know she could never stay away from you for too long. Now come on, you are making us late.”

 

“A queen is never late.”

“While that may be true, little princes are. So, go!”

After dropping Carter off, the ride to CatCo was silent. Cat’s heart was pounding inside her chest, her palms were sweaty, and she kept adjusting her blouse; Cat Grant was on her way to becoming a nervous wreck. Knowing that she had to pretend not to care for her wi-assistant was not helping the situation.

The elevator doors slid open and Cat walked out with her usual swagger, but her footing faltered when she saw Kara standing by her office. Cat took a small step backwards, inhaled, and then proceeded to her glass throne. Kara followed her closely, ready for whatever tasks that was to be thrown her way. When Cat was settled behind her desk, Kara sat down the latte she had been carrying around.

It was difficult for everyone to revert back to how they were before the storm had calmed. Winn and James especially struggled, they wanted to gush and gossip, but they had to restrain themselves. The whole office had to distract Kara whenever the date appeared on one of the many screens (they even changed the year on her computer), which was extremely hard, considering they worked in a media outlet source.

///

 

The DEO had tried to keep Kara away from any major fight, but they were running out of manpower. Hank refused to tell Alex that he was sending out her baby sister back onto the field without proper retraining. Kara was ecstatic to be flying around the city with a true, life-saving, purpose.

“Supergirl, the alien you are looking for is dangerous. You need to be prepared for the worst.” Hank’s eyes darted from monitor to monitor, looking for any signs of disruption.

“I got this, I mean I’ve done missions like this before.”

“Just be careful.”

“Found’em.” She was silent after that.

“Approach with caution, if you can wait-” Supergirl was seen charging in fist first.

Agents gathered in the middle of the base, watching in horror as the girl in blue and red took hit after hit. It seemed like forever before they saw the first SUV pull up. There was a heavy sigh of relief when the prisoner was apprehended, yet Supergirl stood in the midst of them, motionless.

_Carter was standing on stage, waving wildly at her, he had a huge smile plastered on his face. It was the happiest she had seen him in a while. Kara caught herself taking her eyes off him and focusing on the woman sitting next to her. Cat Grant. The older blonde was taking tons of pictures and the look of pure joy on her face caused a fire to spread like a wildfire through Kara’s body. She grinned like an idiot when she felt a small, soft hand creep into hers._

Just as quickly as the memory had come, it faded. The warmth she remember feeling dissipated into a cold chill. She let out a ghost of a whisper “My Cat,” before collapsing in the rubble from the fight before.


	2. Chapter 2

_Just as quickly as the memory had come, it faded. The warmth that had once encompassed her dissipated into a cold chill. She let out the ghost of a whisper - “My Cat,” - before succumbing to the darkness and collapsing in the ruins of the fight._  

Kara woke up to the warm rays of her sun bed hours later, her whole body still cold under the heat of the lamps. She slowly lifted the top and tried to stand up, but her knees buckled and she leaned heavily on the bed for support. Kara took a deep breath and tried again, this time she told herself that she had to move, had to find Cat. 

At just the thought of the woman, Kara felt a tug in her chest and she knew it was something more than the crush she had on her boss. Something inside her demanded to be heard - something like a primal protective instinct that seemed to trail wisps of worry down her spine and plucked at the strings of her heart like the flight of a bumblebee. Unsure of the feeling, she absentmindedly followed the tugging sensation and found herself just outside a small cafe on the outskirts of town. Inside sat Cat sipping a cup of coffee, across from her was Carter.

The sight filled her with an unreasonable sense of… happiness. Something blossomed in her chest and she panicked at the feeling. Looking at them, together and happy - it felt like.. It felt like coming home. 

Caught in the moment, she felt the warmth spread through her body again at the sight of Carter’s bright smile directed at his mother, it tickled and pricked her at the same time. She knew that whatever happened in that memory (or was it a fantasy?), had deeply affected her and there was no going back - she had to know what was real.

She couldn’t deal with another possible reality dangled above her head as if she were some lab rat.

Kara stood there contemplating her next move, knowing it was risky to barge into the cafe and demand an audience with the Queen of All Media. Her inner debate on whether to approach and confront the Grant family seemed to have stopped momentarily as Carter waved at her with an excitement she was familiar with. At least some things never change.

Waiting until they made their exit, she approached the duo, regarding them with a charming smile, she fixed a serious gaze on Cat. “I need to know what happened.”

Cat, who had bright smile, hardened her grip on a now solemn Carter, whose eyes were downcast. Her eyes narrowed and Kara found herself craving the swirl of mirth and playfulness that she had just witnessed but now gone, in it’s place, a hardened look of… anger…

She took a defensive stance in front of Carter, and Kara really couldn’t blame her. She sighed softly as Cat’s shoulders slowly drooped, the stress and alertness leaving her posture and a more relaxed stance.

“Supergirl,” Her voice dripped with a strained playfulness yet it still held the bitter humor Kara had come to love,  “what a surprise.” 

“Miss Grant,” Kara began hesitantly, “I need to know what happened, why everyone is so uneasy around me,” she stressed, and she shook her head trying to find the right words.

“I don’t know what it is, but whenever I’m not near you, something in me just aches and I can’t think straight or focus on anything aside from that. What’s happened to me?” Kara blurts the question in her babbling and she shakes her head once again, before dropping her face in her hands.

Cat moves to answer cautiously, but Kara simply turns away, her back to the media mogul. Cat moves to Kara, trying to gesture the slowly agitated superhero.

“No, don’t answer that,” She brushes off, “I know, something’s happened and I think you’re trying to hide something from me Cat, I need to know what it is.” Her voice was a little uneven by the end of her speech.

Cat reached out to rub the girl’s arm, but Kara pulled away. “Even if I do tell you, it won’t be here,” Cat gestured to the city and people around them, “not where anyone can hear.” Carter watched in silence as his two moms - no not moms, Kara wasn’t that person any more - argued and bickered as they did before they started dating.

“Please, just give me something. I can’t stand you lying to me,” Kara pleaded, desperation clouding her features, “you are one of the only people who I can’t have lying to me.”

“Don’t lie to me, please just tell me.” Kara was pleading with all she had, she tried her hardest to show the pain that the situation was causing her. She hated that it had come down to her begging to this woman in front of her, to do something that they had once promised to do, always tell each the truth.  

The words seemed to have an effect on Cat, who pursed her lips in a thin line and tilted her head at Kara. Kara, noticing the slight change, moved to lay a gentle hand on Cat’s shoulder.

Before she could, Cat took a small step towards the hero, “You lost a year of your life,” she confessed solemnly.

“A year?” Kara fought back

“You had a bad fight and you hit your head, Alex wouldn’t tell me any more than that.” Carter spoke up for the first time since the two started talking.

Cat looked down at her son and shook her head, “Carter remember what we talked about? Now is not the time to talk about an accident, not here and certainly not now, there is still matters that-”

Tilting her head up, she furrowed her brows in mock concentration. “I-I should go,” Kara stumbled over her words, “There’s a cat stuck in a tree.”

The words seemed vague and all too transparent, but Kara shook her head as she struggled to make up an excuse to leave.  She stepped away from the Grants and took off towards the sky. Tears silently streamed down her cheeks, like rain leaves cloud. She mourned the life she had forgotten, the memories she had forever lost, and the stories she may never be able to tell.

The flight home was a blur. All Kara could focus on was the hurt she had felt at Carter’s admission and Cat’s reprimanding. She landed harshly inside her living room, tears now pouring down her face. Shedding her suit, her body went through the motions of  dressing herself in comfiest things she could find, as her mind was to occupied with all that had happened. After an hour of crying into her pillow, she tried to call her sister.

Kara needed to know that she wasn’t being lied to by the most important person in her life.

“Come on, pick up, answer me please. Alex, you better pick up your phone.” She started tapping her fingers again her nightstand, leaving small craters in their wake. When she noticed the dents, she stopped and started tapping on her own body instead

“You have reached the phone of Alex Danvers’, please leave a message and I will get back to you shortly.” Kara almost crushed her device when she heard her sister’s voicemail.

Despair and isolation creeped into Kara’s soul, slowly consuming her until she was barely functional. Kara was used to rejection, by most people at least, but not her anchors, not the ones who had been there for her and promised to be there for her. She depended on them more than they realized; now that they had cast her into the dark she had no one to center her, to keep her human. Without those two, she was adrift and alone; Kara Danvers did not do alone well.

The last time she had felt something so raw, so emotionally painful, was when she first arrived on earth. Back then, Alex had shunned her for intruding on her life, for forcing her to grow up in ways unimaginable for a teen and for inadvertently bring about the death of her father. Kara had a hard time fitting in and finding friends. There was so much she didn’t understand and she knew she wasn’t like those around her, Jeremiah had even told her that. She had to hide, to only show one side, her false human side; ten years later and that feeling of longing and fear of the unknown, plus complete isolation from those closest to her, still haunted her.

Her depressive mood followed her to work the next day. The usually bright eyed woman was replaced with a robot; she was distant and sluggish, her clothes went from being full of life and color to being dark and plain. Kara was disconnected from the world around her.

Everyone in the building noticed the shift in Kara, it was something they had never seen before. They all silently begged Cat to fix whatever was wrong with her assistant, it was dull and slow without the chippy attitude and bright colors flying around CatCo. Winn and James tried their best to get to the bottom of Kara’s problem, but they got no where.

The journalist sighed when she saw the “super-squad” get rejected. “Kiera!” She saw Kara stand slowly from her desk and make her way into the glass office.

“Yes, Miss Grant?”

“I need you to stay late tonight, these layouts are absolutely dreadful to look at. I need you to rearrange them until they are easy on the eyes, yet captures our readers.” She swiveled her chair as she explained how she wanted the new set of layouts.

“Of course. Will that be all, Miss Grant?” Cat flinched at the formality before waving her off with a flick of her wrist.

The older woman almost felt bad about making up the excuse about the layouts, because she could send them back now and request they be redone within the hour, but then again she wanted her assistant to stay. She was worried that the girl might go home, well to her sister’s apartment, and not return to work the next day. The way she was acting was almost surreal, it was as if she was seeing Kara’s alter ego.

Cat caught herself drifting off with thoughts of the hero and decided that she needed a drink. Once it was poured she glanced at the desk outside her door, it was empty, but she knew the girl wasn’t too far away. Cat turned towards the other set of doors in the room, and made her way to the balcony. It had turned dark sometime during the ending of her last meeting and then, but Cat didn’t care. The darkness gave her cover for something she swore she would never do at work.

She pulled a long silver chain out from under her dress, on that chain sat her wedding band. Cat slid her finger inside the loop, wanting to feel the safety and comfort it always had brought her. After a few moments she took it back off and settled to just playing with it. A smile graces her lips as she remembers the day that the ring was given to her, it was her third best day of her life (the birth of her boys claimed the first and second spot.)

Cat didn’t hear Kara approach and was caught with the ring in her hand. “Is that a wedding ring?”

“Yes Kiera, it is.” She put the ring back underneath her shirt to hide it from the lingering eyes of her assistant.

“Is it yours?” Kara asked faintly.

“Of course it is.” Cat was getting fed up with the questions that she knew Kara knew the answer to, but didn’t want to admit it.

“Who gave it to you?” The question froze the woman in her spot. She had guessed that Kara would ask at some point, but she did not think she had the courage to.

“Someone who means the world to me, yet they don’t think that they mean all that much to me. I want to tell them that I do care, I always have, but it would just fall on deaf ears.”  Kara managed to look even more depressed as Cat talked about her lover.

“So, why do you have a wedding ring?”

“Because that someone doesn’t remember who they are.” Cat brushed past Kara, frozen as she processed the information, went back inside.

“Are you saying that-that that someone is-no it can’t be…” Kara was trying to find a way of saying it without sounding disgusted at the fact.

Cat was facing her mirror but still watching the woman behind her, “I married you, Kara Danvers-Grant.”  At those words, Kara fell to her knees and let out a sob of despair and disbelief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this took forever but hopefully we will be better with the next two chapters that are in the making, so we hope you enjoyed this installment-V


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont let joy know im posting because she hasnt checked it yet....but i couldnt wait any longer (which means that it has like no editing or anything) ;) hope you enjoy this!

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid_

Cat paced from one end of her apartment to the other, her mind racing from the event on the balcony. It had been hours, but the sound of Kara’s sobs still were piercing her heart and ears. She knew the girl wasn’t ready, but Cat had so desperately wanted her life back. She wanted Kara to come home, to see Carter smile and laugh, to have game and movie nights, she wanted her family back.

Her hand wandered up to her neckline to fidget with the ring once more. The cool metal a gentle reminder that, until further notice, she was married to Kara. It was a symbol of hope for Cat,  it was her beacon of light, even when she swore there was no sun left.

Cat stopped pacing, deciding that if she were to survive the next day, she would need sleep. She quickly went through her routine, but paused when she started pulling back the covers. It all felt wrong, the duvet was too heavy, the sheets were rough, the small patch of light from the moon was too bright, nothing was how she remembered. Cat was not clingy, but she needed someone, her someone to be by her side that night. The past few weeks she had been getting by with sleeping either on the couch or in the guest room, her own bed hardly touched.

She set the covers down and walked out of the room. The couch was getting worse each night and the sheets for the guest bedroom were being washed, which left only a few options. She could either woman up and sleep in her own bed, make a palette on the floor, or try and sleep in Carter’s bed with the boy. None of her choices were ideal, but she had to choose.

///

Kara refused to move from her spot on the balcony, even when the city went dark around her. No matter what she remembered, good or bad, that was her safe place. It was the one place where she had always felt like she belonged, that she was needed. It had been a long time since she had found such a place, but then again it had been a long time since anyone had let her be herself.

She focused on the feel of the wind hitting her skin, the buzzing sounds of the cars below, and the feel of the metal under her hands. Kara tried her best not to notice anything that could remind her of Cat Grant, which was hard considering she was in the woman’s office. Then again, she had ignored her feelings for the woman for two-or was it three years, a few more hours wouldn’t kill her 

Two years, she had hid her feelings for Cat, she had pushed everything down and refused to even think of the possibility of the two of them, and then she was told they were married. Married. She had no idea how she had managed to pull it off, but it scared the shit out of her. Kara did not do well with her feelings, they were overwhelming to her and those around her, so she may have overreacted when she put two and two together earlier.

Kara never thought she would find be able to find someone and settle down with them, it was a foreign concept to her. She was always afraid that she would ruin it by being an alien, that her insecurities would be too much, or that her being Supergirl would be a deal breaker. Then again, Cat Grant had always surprised her.


	4. Chapter 4

Kara flew to her sister’s apartment (well, the alley beside the building) and walked on unsteady feet to the door. The hero took a deep breath before lightly knocking on the door, careful not to make a dent in it again. Kara waited patiently for the other woman to answer.

“I don’t need any more cookies!” She hears Alex yell before the door is, ungracefully, swung wide open. 

“I need some cookies.” Alex rolled her eyes at her sister’s appetite. “I also need to ask you something.”

“Is this a ‘tell me something and then watch a movie’ or a ‘I’m going to need to get the alcohol’ question?”

“Both.” Kara slowly made her way into the apartment and onto the couch. Alex closed the door behind her before she moved to the kitchen. 

“Is this about the whole thing with me making you stay at my house for that first week, because if it is I just want you to know, I tried to be quiet. Your super hearing makes it very hard to have a personal life-”

“Alex! It isn’t about that and I never want to talk about your-ew no.” Kara tried to shake the image out of her head. “It’s about the accident. Actually, what had all happened before the accident.”

“Kara, are you remembering things, like events?” 

“Yes and no. I found out I was-am married to Cat. I think I scared her, Alex. I didn’t mean to, but it just came out like I was breathing fire. She just stared at me then left, I could hear her heart beating faster the further she got away. I really hurt her, I didn’t mean to do it though. I can’t tell her that though, she wouldn’t believe me. I messed up, bad.” Alex screwed off the lid to the bottle and took a long swing, before turning and facing her sister.

“Don’t you dare think that she would not believe you. That woman has put up with so much shit since this whole thing started. She lost you. Twice! She would be thrilled at any and all contact you initiate. Cat Grant loves you. Hell, you are her second favorite thing in the world! So, even if you think you messed up and she will hate you til the end of time, think again. Just be yourself, ease back into your weird flirty banter, stay late, or just hang out with Carter. It will be easier if you think you have a shot with her, because you do, and just go from there. She will understand that you need time, she just wants to see you be well, you. Now, if I hear that you are being awkward around her after this little pep talk, I will kick your ass.” 

Kara had curled into herself sometime during the speech, her hands fidgeting with the end of her shirt. Alex set a hand on top of Kara’s knee, giving it a good squeeze before leaning back into the couch. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours, before Kara broke. She let her tears run freely down her face and her sobs fill the dead air. She cried for the family she lost on Krypton, for lives she couldn’t save, for Jeremiah, and for the family she once had but doesn’t remember. Kara cried until she felt her body become heavy with exhaustion. 

Alex let Kara cry until the girl's breath started to even out. Alex slowly pulled Kara closer and ran her fingers through the blonde tresses. She sighed as she felt her sister worm into her side. It reminded her so much of when they were younger, how Kara would get overwhelmed and would need someone to drown out her senses with. 

Those nights, Alex would lay awake all night, listening to Kara’s breathing making sure nightmares didn’t plague her dreams again. It was her favorite nights, she felt useful and wanted, she wasn’t just there to keep the girl safe from bullies and the horrors of the world, but also from herself and her past. Those nights, Eliza would never get mad at her for not doing what she was told to do, because Eliza never knew-she wouldn’t understand-the horrors each girl faced each day. 

“Alex, what if, what if this doesn’t go right. I can’t loose her.”

“We just went over this. Don’t tell me you are getting short term memory loss, I can’t deal with that.” Alex playfully jabbed. “She won’t leave you, she loves you. And you know it’s the truth when even I say, you two are disgustingly in love. Everything will be alright, I promise.”

///

Kara spent the weekend avoiding Cat, and Cat didn’t try to reach out. They spent forty eight hours staring down at their phones and thinking of everything they would never say. Alex pushed contact for the first day, but soon gave up her pursuit after each attempt failed with no avail. Kara barely moved from her couch, eating only pizza and ice cream while watching show after show. Cat, she was the opposite, she could not sit still the whole weekend; sleep would not come unless she completely exhausted herself.  

Weekends only last so long, before either of them knew it Monday had arrived.

Cat stared at herself in the mirror, her reflection was dark and her eyes wore bags underneath them. She reached a hand up to her face, certain that the mirror was lying to her. Cat sighed when she realized it wasn’t a lie at all, she truly looked horrible. She got to work immediately, covering every dark spot and blemish, putting coat after coat of makeup on until she felt like herself. 

Kara was awake hours before her alarm was set to go off, in those few hours she did nothing. She didn’t patrol, she didn’t paint, or read, or clean, she just simply was there. A normal human being would have had tears in their eyes with the amount of time Kara had hers open. The alarm finally sounded and it was enough to bring her out of her state and move on with her morning. 

Their regular routine went as it normally would, Kara grabbing Cat’s latte and Cat firing off Kara’s orders for the day. It was the one thing they knew they would not mess up, they had been doing it for years, it was hard to break something so engraved in your very well being. They continued their dance all day, neither wanting to bother the other. 

Kara was the first to break. 

“I’m sorry.” It came out falling out after she delivered the last of the layouts. 

“Whatever for?”

“Cat. You know what for, because if it is haunting me, I know it is at least bothering you.” Kara took a deep breath, “I know I acted irrationally and that I should have thought of how that would affect not only me, but you as well. I acted on impulse alone and did not think of the consequences and now I’m paying the price. Please forgive me, I will try harder next time to talk about what I am feeling then just, well scream.”

“Try not to freak out every time you learn of your life, it is quite unbecoming.” Kara nodded along, not wanting to screw yet another thing up. 

Kara stood in the middle of the office, waiting to be dismissed. Her eyes followed Cat’s every movement, she listened to her steady heartbeat and her gentle breathing. It was weird to think that she had been able to do so every night, all night. 

“He misses you.” Kara snapped out of her day dream at the words. 

“He knows that all he has to do is text me and I will be there in a flash, right?”

“Not like that. He knows you will always be his friend, but he misses the other side of you. The side where you would run around the room trying to describe your day, or your ice cream eating competition, he really misses the joy you brought to both of our lives.” 

“Cat, I’m not ready to be that person right now.”

“I know that, but he doesn’t. Carter doesn’t understand that you can’t just jump into life where you left off. He gave you a few days before he started asking more of you, asking things that I couldn’t answer. All I am asking is that you spend some time with him and just talk, maybe if you explain to him why you are not around he will accept it, or at least wait a little longer.” Cat was now watching Kara with beady eyes. 

“Will you be there? I want to try at least with you, even if that means connecting through Carter.” Cat’s mouth parted slightly at the question, she was not prepared for Kara to be ready to take a step forward. She nodded her head slowly, still shocked at the thought of Kara wanting to spend time and connect with them again. “Great! There is a dinosaur exhibit going on this weekend, maybe we could spend some time there before I talk to him. I know Carter doesn’t do well with having things sprung on him, especially conversation, and I thought maybe he will be more at ease if we do a day out at the museum.”

“Kara, Carter has been talking about that thing for the past two weeks. He would love to go, even more so because you are going with him.” Kara wrung her hands together the whole time Cat spoke. 

“Okay, well, um I guess I’ll see the two of you bright and early Saturday morning” Cat smiled and nodded before going back to her work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so i dont know when chapter 5 will be written or posted because school is kicking both of our asses, but it will get done and hopefully i can keep joys little angst hands off of it for a least the next one


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara tries to make it up to Cat and Carter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shhhhhhh this was totally posted months ago

Carter was up and ready before Cat’s alarm had even went off. She smiled at his enthusiasm, she hoped that excitement would last all through the day. Cat heard him trying to sneak into her room, she pretended to still be asleep as he approached. Carter threw himself onto her, both let out a groan as the air was expelled from their lungs. He rolled off and laid next to her, both ready for the day ahead. 

Cat shewed Carter off to go get dressed while she made breakfast. She started the coffee first before opening the fridge to see what all they had, she sighed when she saw that there wasn’t much breakfast wise. So, she pulled out the milk and eggs and decided to make pancakes. It had been a while since they had anything other than cereal or something from Noonan’s, but today was special.  Today Carter would finally be happy, after being sad and worried for so long . 

As Cat was finishing making the batter, Carter came bounding into the kitchen. He was in his favorite shirt, shorts, and his light up dinosaur sneakers. Carter ran up to and stopped right before he would crash into her. 

“Mom do you know what you are?”

“No sweetie, what am I?” Cat placed the mixing bowl down on the counter, giving Carter her full attention. 

“You’re Dino-Mite!” He pointed to his shirt, which had a picture of a dinosaur in sunglasses with the phrase around it.

Cat rolled her eyes before ruffling his hair, “Do you want to help make food or go watch tv?”

“Can I go read my book, I don’t want to get my shirt dirty.” Cat sighed, she knew most kids his age would want to watch Saturday morning cartoons, but what was wrong with reading a good book instead? She nodded, watching him take off to his room.  Cat turned back to the first task, making food. They only had an hour or so before Kara arrived to take Carter to the exhibit and Cat wanted to lay some ground rules before he left. 

Pretty soon she had a stack of pancakes large enough to feed a small village. Cat called Carter into the kitchen to eat, twice. She was about to call again when she heard a something hit the wall in his room. Cat rushed across the house only to find her son sitting in the middle of his bed, face red, and his hands balled into fists. 

“Honey, are you okay?” Cat eased herself down onto his bed. 

“She died. Why did she die? She was the main character, how could they kill her?” Carter refused to look up, tears started to well up in his eyes. 

“I know, but you have to finish the book. I won’t promise that it gets better, but I will tell you that you won’t feel any better if you never know how it ends. First, let’s eat and then you can go back to reading. At some point we need to talk about today though.”

“Is there enough pancakes to drown out my feelings?” Carter rested his head on her shoulder.

“Now you are sounding like Kara,” Cat poked at Carter’s side and tucked him under her arm. “But yes, there is enough pancakes to eat your feelings out.”

* * *

There was a knock on the door exactly at nine. Cat smiled a little at that, Kara had probably been standing on the other side for at least five minutes before she knocked, the girl was never one to disappoint. Carter was already halfway to the door before Cat called out for him to wait. He stood idely in the middle of the foyer, his hands tapping at his side, itching to fling open the door.

Cat brushed off her hands, even though there was nothing on there, and opened the door. Her words caught in her throat as she took in Kara’s appearance. The girl was dressed casually in a pair of distressed jeans and a basic tee shirt, but it still amazed Cat how stunning she could be without even trying. Cat’s face had turned red with slight embarrassment of being caught staring at her wife-ex wife?, she wasn’t sure what to call her anymore-for so long. Kara looked down at her feet, nervous that she did something wrong. 

Kara raised her head to meet Cat’s eyes, she noticed a small white patch on the side of Cat’s face. She slowly reached up and wiped away the spot, her hand resting on Cat’s cheek a little longer than necessary. Once she realized what she was doing she quickly pulled her hand back and cleared her throat. 

“Are you ready kid?” Kara broke the eye contact with Cat to look down at Carter.

“Yes!” Carter jumped a little with excitement. Can we go get ice cream afterwards?”

“Of course. It wouldn’t truly be a day out with me if there wasn’t ice cream involved.” Kara turned sideways in the doorway to allow Carter to slip past her. 

“Don’t be gone too long and only one scoop, that goes for both of you.” Cat called out after them, she knew it was useless that Kara would give into everything Carter wanted, but she had to try. She was about to close the door when she felt a brush of wind go by. Cat could feel a gentle kiss being placed on her temple, then as quickly as it came breezing in it was gone. 

_ “ _ _ She had tricked him. She had made him leave his old self behind and come into her world, and then before he was really at home in it too late to go back, she had left him stranded there - like an astronaut wandering about on the moon. Alone.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also the book that carter was reading and the quote down here at the bottom is from the most heartbreaking book of my childhood Bridge to Terabithia

**Author's Note:**

> there will be more to come, but in the mean time what do you guys think?


End file.
